I am Deir Yassin

I am Deir Yassin

Deir Yassin ;

we are so much more than a death toll or a simple story to be told in order to conjure up pity.
i walked home tonight and realized that the streets were not full of blood. i claimed the sidewalk as my own; no one stopped to question me. i walked, and i realized i was perhaps too lucky. "deir yassin, deir yassin, have you heard of what happened at deir yassin? do you want to end up like those of deir yassin?" i have never had to answer this question. i have never had to flee for my life. i have never heard the sound of a gunshot. and yet i can still picture the scene from deir yassin- these pictures have replaced the calvin klein ads i see on my way home. i am moving forward, step by step, but i feel something pulling me back. my steps are heavy, bogged down with memories from that massacre and all the others i did not witness. no, we are so much more than a death toll or a simple story to be told in order to conjure up pity. i will not think about death- just the toll- the toll this has had on all of us sixty years later. if anyone asks me what's wrong i'll reply but they won't understand. the sadness is not mine alone- it was not mine originally, i simply inherited it. i embrace it anyway, because its all i've got. i am walking home thinking about how Palestine lost me sixty years ago, and how i found it again while i was waiting for the street light to change from red to green. i am thinking of all the mothers, the fathers, the aunts, the uncles, the untold stories i will probably never hear. i am thinking of Deir Yassin. no, i am not thinking of - i am, i have become, Deir Yassin...

walking, i finally reach my destination; i walk up the stairs to my apartment, i take out my keys, i turn the lock and open the door. i have returned home. if only it was that simple...